Ambien. No doubt about it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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