need another drink. this is the easiest way
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
