Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
