no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
