Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
