she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
