You really coming over, don't trick.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
