Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
