Tell her she can't have a vagina
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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