I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
