it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
