Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
