I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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