Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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