in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
