I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
