this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
