fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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