Where is the hickey?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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