i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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