apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
