I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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