6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
