Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
