What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
