At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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