you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
only if we run a train.
done.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
