I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
