Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
