I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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