Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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