I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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