Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
