Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
