just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
