Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.

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(512): View more from Texas

Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic

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(904): View more from Florida

Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?

(1-904): View more from Florida

six.

(904): View more from Florida

Oh, I thought it was higher.

(1-904): View more from Florida

No, that would be the Matt's

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park

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(519): View more from Ontario

The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.

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(443): View more from Maryland

So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?

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(408): View more from California

But college guys get to crossfade so there's that

(305): View more from Florida

No idea what that is

(408): View more from California

Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...

(305): View more from Florida

I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words

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(541): View more from Oregon

We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.

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(512): View more from Texas

i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.

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