My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
