I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's just like the Real World with babies
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
