drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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