why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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