I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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