Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm too high and old for this...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
