even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
its liver damage thursday
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
