The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
