Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
