You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
