she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
