would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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