And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
