YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
