Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
