so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
