Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
