I forgot how hot balto sounded
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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