2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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