i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
