it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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