whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
