God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
