Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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