Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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